Apr 12, 2022·edited Apr 12, 2022Liked by Jeff Somers

Is Timothy Chalamet’s the most punchable face in human history? Yes. Did Wes Anderson somehow manage to make it even more punchable in The French Dispatch? Again, yes. If I ever encounter Timothy Chalamet in real life, will the end result be my acquittal because I successfully convinced a jury he looked a little like Willem Dafoe? Sadly not, because no one would ever believe I could confuse Twig Boy with Willem Dafoe. Guilty as charged, Your Honor. I will accept my sentence with equanimity, knowing I have rid the world of that face. You're welcome.

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Apr 12, 2022Liked by Jeff Somers

4 'Is “One Cranky Asshole in New Jersey” the new title of my memoir? HOW COULD IT NOT BE?'

I had trouble using dickhead in a title, so I think you should be prepared to find alternatives to asshole. Although I do admit that asshole perfectly describes some people I know. If asshole is a problem, I’m pretty sure butt hole will be no-no as well. While poopy head is situated at the opposite end of the body, it’s still a gamble. I suggest the medical term sphincter. “One Cranky Sphincter in New Jersey”? Nah, fuggedaboutit.

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