9 Comments
May 21, 2022Liked by Jeff Somers

You are a delight.

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Mar 29, 2022Liked by Jeff Somers

The scene, the one where Harris watches his love one drown in front of his eyes, before he attempts to move her to the rig did it for me. On top of the hour-long six minute scene, the lung damage done at depth to trachea to bronchiole to alveola when umpteen atmospheres collapses her airway like a grape press would not be survivable--without alien magic.

Personally, one scene was the reason for spending $200,000K; the underwater light stick that made choosing which wire to cut impossible.

I've forgotten everything else about that movie, except that scene.

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Mar 29, 2022Liked by Jeff Somers

The second you mentioned The Abyss, my thoughts were, "Oh, my god. Was that the really stupid movie where someone dies for like half an hour and then comes back to life? I think it was. What a stupid movie." Your column was infinitely more interesting than my first thoughts, but at the end of our lives, the Universe owes us forty more minutes.

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author

Forty-five. I'm tacking on interest.

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Mar 29, 2022Liked by Jeff Somers

I need time for ALL of Titanic and the time it took me to read The Evening Star, as long as we're keeping track.

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Mar 29, 2022Liked by Jeff Somers

The thing about this particular movie is—knowing who James Cameron is—I always figured the first seven or eight hours of the story were the tacked-on part.

“Here’s the pitch: underwater aliens rise from the depths in a giant ship to demand world peace! Their ship will be so huge an entire fleet of Navy vessels will end up scattered across its surface like toys. The special effects will require the invention of computer technology that doesn’t yet exist.”

“Interesting, interesting. But why do they do this?”

“Eh, I’ll think of something.”

“Awesome! Here’s two hundred million dollars!”

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author

This is almost certainly what happened, except the meeting took place on top of a seven foot pile of cocaine.

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Good to know that I'm not the only one angered by this movie. I remember that that was the year of the "water movie" and while EVERYONE showered The Abyss in accolades, for the life of me, I didn't see what they were seeing. I'd put Leviathan first and then Deep Star Six, and then The Abyss.

A year ago, I watched all of them again (in one night), and the order I liked them in from back in the day, held. The Abyss was just the long slog to get through.

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I did actually enjoy 75% of The Abyss, honestly, though a lot of that was probably the charisma of the actors.

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